Wednesday, July 20, 2011


Before Steven R. Covey wrote about living a principles centered life in Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, he wrote a book called The Divine Center. I thank Ms. Sarah Grainger for sharing that book with me as it's main concept has stayed with me and even now is changing the way I am choosing to live my life. The idea is that we each choose something to be at the center of our lives. It may be family, money, self, church, leisure or any other thing from which our actions, thoughts and beliefs spring. As Christ, however, is the source of truth, the source of light by which we can understand truth and the very rock of our redemption, He is the only thing/person on which we can center our lives securely. Even family and church, as human as they are, can lead us away from the source of truth if we choose to place one of them at our center.

This passing week has held incredible amounts of revelation for me. I have come to realize that my most recent career path--as an elementary school teacher--although wonderful is not in alignment with who I am and what I have come to this earth to do. I have had profound moments of remembering--wherein moments past were brought to mind. Each of these involved me giving my will over to my Father in Heaven as well as sharing with Him my desire to be an instrument in His hands, to bring His children closer to him. And time and again throughout my life I have felt impressed and desirous to do this through creating life-changing media. And so this is what I will be doing once again, and I am dedicating my full efforts to this mission of mine.

Discussions with Amelia, with my mom, with Amy and others helped me to recognize that I needed to get back into film. But it was the Genius Bootcamp workshop that I attended, hosted by Shantel McBride and created by Leslie Householder that created the space for personal revelation and the re-understanding of what I was born to do. These two women are amazing and Leslie in particular has helped me through her various programs to learn more about how to trust inspiration and to achieve our goals and dreams. As a matter of fact, I have done her Family, Time, Money, Freedom goal setting course a few times in the past few years each time with the same goal. I expected to focus on the same goal at the Genius Bootcamp and was surprised to feel pulled to another.

The goal I had been focusing on was the goal of marriage: of being and doing all I could to find my companion and start our family. What could be a more noble goal? It has been the focus of my thoughts and dreams steadily for the last few years. I want to progress and marriage is how I want to progress. I want to learn more about love and I want to create and bring beautiful babies into this world to teach and raise up in the ways of righteousness. As I have focused on this I have assumed that in fact this is what my life is about. I have had so many rich experiences that have helped fashion me into an amazing companion and mother. And now (now being every day for the last few years) it is time for me to contribute that amazing life to the creation of my own family.

As my mission to bring souls to Christ was returned to me this weekend, I realized that I have not been living a Christ-centered life. He has not been the focus of my thoughts, no matter how many times I have prayed to Him. No, this elusive family has been. Along with the strivings and the pains at not having it.

I now declare that I was not put on this earth to become a wife and a mother. My purpose is to become like my Heavenly Father. What He wants from me is my heart and my service and my passion dedicated to the building up of His kingdom. Raising a family up unto him with my wonderful husband is part of that of course, but it is not the goal and it is not the focus. It is a blessing I will in perfect time receive to help me fulfill my mission: to do the Lord's work and glory.

I admit this is all a little scary and in some ways ambiguous. But it is also incredibly exciting and liberating. I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for me!!!


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